Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in SycoAlexio's LiveJournal:

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Monday, March 15th, 2032
10:19 am	QUIZ! The Alexio Quiz 1. Do you believe in God? Why or why not? 2. Computer game violence: Good or Bad? Why? 3. Windows or Linux? Why? 4. AMD or Intel? Why? 5. Tits or Ass? Why? 6. What is your favorite part of the opposite sex's body? Why? 7. What is your favorite instrument? Why? 8. Doom or Quake? Why? 9. Kisses or Sex? Why? 10. Give head or recieve head? Why? 11. Straight porno or lesbian porno? Why? 12. Is it okay to have sex even though your not married? Why? 13. Is Alexio the COOLEST guy on the planet? Why or why not!? (You better say YES) 14. School or On-line courses? Why? 15. Blonde or Burnette? Why? 16. Big tits okay face, or small tits beautiful face? Why? 17. If you could only live with ONE of your parents, which would it be? Why? 18. Your dating someone, would you rather he/she be Short (5/9 down) or he/she tall (5/9 up)? Why? 19. Is it okay for a teacher to have sex with a student? As long as the student is 18 or over? Why or why not? 20. Bestiality? Okay? Why or why not? 21. What is your favorite color? Why? 22. If you could date anyone at Skyview, who would it be? Why? 23. Your favorite band? Why? 24. One Best friend or 3 Good friends? Why? 25. Blue eyes or Green eyes (on your significant other)? Why? 26. Tongue piercings? Good or Bad? Why? 27. Chickies: Big dick (6 in. up) and they suck, or small dick (5 1/2 in down) and they rock? Why? 28. When is Duke Nukem Forever going to come out? 29. Pizza or Hotdogs? Why? 30. If you had to either drink piss or eat shit, which would you eat/drink? Why? 31. If you could kill someone and never get in trouble for it, would you kill someone? Why or why not? 32. Smoking: Good or Bad? Why? 33. Alcohol: Good or Bad? Why? 34. If the person you loved had AIDs, would you still sleep with them? Why or why not? 35. Max Payne or Giants? Why? 36. If the person you loved made the mistake of cheating on you ONCE, but they would never do it again would you dump them? Or give them another chance? Why? 37. Curly hair or straight hair? Why? 37. Pooch or no pooch? Why? 38. Tummy or no tummy (on guys)? Why? 39. Facial hair or no facial hair (on men)? Why or why not? 40. And finally, who's your best friend? Why? ------------------------------ Sorry guys, I just made it up on the fly, but PLEASE take it anyways copy and paste it on your LJ! Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Get Up Kids: Valentine (9 Comments |Comment on this)
9:47 am	Apologies Fart. This season needs to end quickly before I do something drastic...not like i already haven't. All of you may have heard about my little episode with Leah...yes I decided to break up with her, then, after a long good talk decided it wasn't worth it. It goes something like this: Leah is the greatest girlfriend I have not only got to date, but she's the best I could hope for, I love everything about her. A lot. But yes, there are stupid little things that are annoying that she does, but I don't give a fuck about them because she's so GREAT! That's the way it's supposed to work, but it seems that my brain is going fucking nuts. I just get annoyed, with everything, friends, girlfriend, parent especially, I just want them all to SHUT UP. But then I think "I'm not like that." Cuz I'm NOT. I love hearing what everyone has to say, I love fuckin with people, they are my drugs and allow me to resolve my problems, and keep my sanity. But shit, I have been so DOWN, it's not even like depression, I feel good about ME, I just feel like shit about everyone else. And it sucks, cuz you guys never did anything wrong. So then I feel like shithole because to ME, Leah seems like she's unapreciative about what I do for her, and yes, she may really NOT feel unnapreciative, but it just feels that way to ME. So for the past couple of months, I've just felt really crappy inside and unhappy. Spending the day with her is fun, but it's hard to smile cuz I feel bad inside. Poop. So it just got to the point where I didn't want to feel like that anymore, so I decided to break up. Shitty. Bad. I didn't WANT to, but I didn't want to feel like crap the next day. Chris and Jl and Lindsey came over and made me feel better while I was pondering about my actions. So then I stayed over at Lindseys, and next to Leah, Lindsey knows everything about me, so she was a big help. She kinda made my thoughts a bit more clear. It's good to have friends like that. And Chris just made me feel safe and secure. So the next day I called Leah up in the morning, went to go see her...talked quite a bit of stuff out, and I wasn't intending to go back out with her, but she reminded me that exactly one year ago that day I had just gotten out of the hospital, and a little bit before that I was fuckin up. So I thought "WOW!" put two and two together; this shit I feel has to be cycle. So fuck that we thought, I just did what I wanted to and we got back together, there honestly IS too much shit I love about her to not be with her. I just feel so schizo. I didn't WANT to break up...it's all good now though, I'm just trying to surround myself with my friends and hopefully I'll just stay goddam happy. WE ALL NEED TO BE. Everyone's so fucking down. It's this fucking place, the environment is so hostile, the weather is so gloomy, no wonder people kill themselves up here. Leah is trying extra hard to do things differently, I don't expect that from her, but I appreciate it, I know we can get through this shit. I'm supposed to go with Leah today to Davids...he's having a kegger party, it would be good to see him for a bit, have some bee-ah, and see some other people I haven't seen in some time. Goddam I wish i could sleep in on the weekend, I keep getting up at seven consistlently for like, 5 weeks, I hate my sleeping pattern. But I, for one, am doing all my damn homework for the past bit, and it feels pretty good, I actually know EXACTLY what we're doing in all my classes...ph33r. Chris came over and spent the night night before last, we played games, watched him beat Serious Sam: Second Encounter and I gotta say, first one was way better, but oh well. Then Wade and Leah came over and kicked it. Wade seems very unhappy, I wish I could do something to make him feel better. I'm trying to loan him some Comics-0, cuz he appreciates them. Damn, everyone is so down, I'm God, I should just be able to make it sunny and warm, but I can't cuz I'm sure that would fuck up the ecosystem. Blah. ATTENTION! Me and Home-E Chris are finally doing something with all our bitching about computer-games and whatnot, we are making a website....yes it will be shitty-looking, but hopefully Lia will help us with some shit so it can be as pretty as her website. We don't know what we're gonna call it yet, but it's gonna fuckin RIP. We're gonna score and review games and bitch about them and have forums where you can bitch about random things, and we're thinking about adding in a girlfriend/boyfriend section where you can bitch about one-anothers wrondoings and where your significant others fall short! IT WILL BE KEWL! Dig it. And then we have this dream, (which probably won't happen) that Gamespy or some other kick ass hosting site will notice how badass our site is, and will host us as part of the computer-gaming community, hey, everyone can dream, right? Oh, and Chris and I are planning a LAN soon, we shall select the most worthy to come game, and trade porno...yes...it will be good. But there WILL be a huge LAN of GTA2, and Starcraft whether you pussies like it or not...we'll make it all you guys VS me and Chris...and you know what the funny thing is?? WE'LL WIN. HAHAHAHAHAH! I am so full of myself. Anyways, that's the news, and I hope all you fellas get outta this goddam depressional-vortex and then your happiness will get me out of mine, too. Shit. Love all yous. -4 |_ 3 >< 10- P.S. -=Japscat=- Current Mood: determined Current Music: Get Up Kids: Valentine (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 9th, 2032
10:33 am	Abandonware -SYNDICATE RULZ!- So much to say...and I have all this shit i've got to do! Hah, damn school. School is such a fucking waste of time, as if you didn't already know that. I probably just bitch about it because I don't get the greatest grades under the sun, but oh well. And I think the majority of my block class needs to be shot. Especially people that bitch to the point of needing to have someone change their daipers. C&A can tell yous guys about that one. Hung out with Chris yesterday, watched the genius-coded AI in Kingpin and laughed my ass off, bitched about Bill Gates and DNF. Fun is an understatement. Then I went home and fixed Leah spaghetti, and ate yum yums. My mind is lethargic right now, and it's hard for me to type, maybe I need to go work on On-line courses! FUN! So I think I will. Later j00s. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Strung Out: Games we used to play (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 1st, 2032
9:09 am	mindless endless nights and days Take the "How immature are you?" Test created by sami Shit, who'd a guessed!? ALEX!? IMMATURE!?!? No WAY. Anyways, Chris locked his keys in his car last night, that boy ceases to make me laugh my ass off. It was funny, amusing like always. You know there's not a single person that amuses me or makes me laugh as much as Chris does, I'm glad that he hangs out with me when im feeling down. He makes me feel better. Alexio Current Mood: awake Current Music: MMB: Toxic Toast (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2032
11:09 pm	Shit I'm Rogue What X-Men Character are You? That's funny...Leah's pissed...that's not funny. Hopefully tomorrow I can talk to her about all this shit. I get the feeling she's REALLY not happy with me right now. And I'm going to find out why...and fucking do this shit. Goddam I don't want to worry about school right now. Fuck. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Get Up Kids: Valentine (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 21st, 2032
2:48 pm	Recievers... You know, it's not THAT hard to admit to someone that u like them, no? HOW HARD CAN IT BE to walk up to someone and say, "Hey, I like you, we should go out." Okay, I'm a hypocrite, I was TERRIFIED of asking Leah out, but shit, you gotta get some balls. BALLS. It's even worse when its blatantly obvious that they like you too. Grrr. I just want to bitch-slap the both of them. They're wasting time, losing their teenage days TOGETHER by not admitting it to one-another. But I suppose I should be happy that they're making SMALL progress, I mean I've got another friend that only digs women he can't have...because of their selfish asses. But fuckin-a people, lets get wit hthe program...JUST SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goddam, and I have to be the fuckin person, the "coach" to yell at their ass. Gets old. I do love Lindsey, but shit, it's like she can't stand on her own two feet. I wish she was like my girlfriend, and just let it out. Oh well, nuff of that. Was in D-base, but didn't get to sit next to Chris. Felt lonely. Still feel lonely, he's hanging out with Lia, I feel selfish and want to see him. Poop. I'm just going to drink and wait to talk to my g/f. Yes. Drinking sounds good right now. TO THE GAMES!!!!! Big-Al Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: Get Up Kids: I'll Catch You (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 18th, 2032
12:25 pm	Assholes As I was watching "The Weddin Singer" with Leah yesterday, it just got me thinking about how much Glenn is like my father...(both Glenns) and I was just wondering why so many people have to be so unloving and uncaring, is it really because they too didn't have a good child- hood and they feel that they don't owe anyone else a happy life? Or is it because they have no capacity for love, or is it because they don't know HOW to love anybody? My dad was a fucking genius, no joke, he could do anything...he was smart, he was suave, he was a good speaker, he could easily impress people, he could be your best friend. If anyone met him, they were instantly his, my dad is the MASTER of manipulation, and it's funny because you'd think that he'd use his 'powers' for good. But it didn't turn out that way. My dad had lots of mental issues, and that's not an excuse, but I think that was a big part of his descent into madness. Unfortunately, since it was all chemical imbalances, I was 'blessed' with his problems too, like father like son I suppose. I wonder why my dad had so much hate, he was ALWAYS angry at something it seemed, he was only truly happy when he was hurting other people. He liked seeing people in pain, and it gave him an opportunity to 'help' them, he could give them a false hope, get them to put their faith into him, and once again, he had control of them. My dad was so fucking fake it made me sick ever since I was a little kid. I saw how he was really and I saw how he was around other people and I put it all together and saw shit. I think he didn't expect me to realize that, or if I did, I don't think he expected me to do anything about it cuz he had already fucked my head up so much. Physical and sexual abuse is one thing, but the mental abuse is something else, it stays with you forever. Sure, the other things are shitty to think about, but the mental stuff is the stuff that 'shapes' you and you don't even know it. If someone raped you and smacked you around a lot, you'd just pretend it never happened, and once you were out of the situation, it would be easier to ease the pain, but if someone tells you enough times just how worthless and fucking pathetic you are, you eventually believe them. The mind is an easy thing to influence and control once you know how. I think my dad knew how to run people pretty fuckin easy, and I just never understood why. Or at least, why did he do it to us? My perception of men isn't that great, thanks in large part to him, I really don't warm up to older people that well, and those that I have, it's because I genuinely like them. I think Chris's dad is a perfect dad. I wish that every person could have a dad like him, and Leah's dad is really cool too, because he gives you your freedom to explore life but at the same time is always protecting you from the really bad things. But he lets you have your experiences. I feel like there aren't enough men like that any more, I surely don't see too many. I honestly think there aren't very many good BOYS in the world. There aren't very many like MY dad or Lia's dad either, but there are a lot of generally lazy, uncaring men in the world. Course, I can't really do anything except know and believe that when I grow up and have my own kid, that I will treat him well and make sure he has my protection and has his freedom. I almost just want to do that to prove that I'm not like my dad. I have this fear that somehow I have sucked in his sickness and I'll be just like him. My friends reassure me that that's impossible because I'm too good of a person, but I'm still scared, I guess the only way to prove it to myself is to do it. But I still have no answers why my dad was like he was. I think he was just crazy. Seriously crazy though, how can anyone have a family and not love them...getting mad and angry is one thing, but intentionally hurting them and abusing them for your own pleasure is inhuman. I am really glad that I had a dad like my dad though, because I learned so much about life and people, it's a really bad experience, but really opens up your eyes. Lia will agree with me. I feel like I know who people are now, it's taught me not to judge by appearances and possesions, because anybody can be fake, a lot of people are, but once you actually spend time with someone and talk to them, you'll see who they are really. I also feel like I can really help people with the shit they go through because I'm so empathetic and sensitive... I guess I'm kind of a pussy too, I don't like hurting people ever, but if you threaten my friends or my mom, you'll die quickly because I'll kill you, or make sure you never do it again. I guess my rant in this post is that I just want everyone to realize what they're doing it when they do it, don't get sucked into the depths of hatred and anger, because that only produces an angry individual, I would be one if it weren't for my friends and my mom and me going to the hospital. Everyone has it inside them to be evil, but whether your faith is God, your parents or friends or even your goddam stuffed animals, just put your strength into them and always believe in the goodness in yourself. There's too many fuckers in this world, and I don't want anybody I know to add to that. There's too many people I care about to just let everything slide. I'm not trying to control anyone, I'm just trying to make it known that even though it's hard for the people getting abused, I believe it's harder for the abuser to live with themselves, and I don't want any of you to be like that. You just kill yourself inside, and all those around you. I'm no fucking hero or anything, but I just wanted to tell you guys that. I love you guys a whole lot. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Get up Kids: Valentine (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2032
11:30 am	j00 Fun fun fun! Yesterday went well, in the morning Chris and John and I played some Super Smash Brothers Melee and laughed our punk asses off, made fun of Ryan, sexual aspects of John and mine's girlfriends then they left. Chris seemed a wee bit better, I hope it lasts. Then the bestest girl in the world called and decided after she cleaned herself up she'd come over. (I don't care if she smelles like horses) So then she did, and she really surprised me when she came over, and she was all happy and shit it was rilly kewl. So then we just layed on the bed for a couple hours and talked. I like doing that with her, it's nice, we get to talk about so much shit and it's never boring, and it's always good to listen to what she has to say becuase she's being honest and telling me how she feels. Yeah, me too. So then we went to go pick Lia's bitchass up from work. And oh! OH! We went to Good-fuckin-kill and shopped for clothes and shit, it was badass, I found these rilly kewl clothes but then Leah and Lia dressed me up in these TIGHT (as in no room) pants, holy shit, it hurts my dick it's so tight, and this pink polo shirt, and this black and neon green jacket. I A M 8 0 S. It's fucking great, plus Leah and I went into the dressing room together, lol, it was funny. Leah has this rilly keuwt dress, it actually looks good on her even if it wasn't for an 80s dance. Then we went back home, as I read Cosmopolitan Lia saw Erick walking along the street with 'fagChance' and so Leah stopped the car and Lia bitched at Erick, I would have too, cuz apparantly he was supposed to be home. That boy isn't trained very well, I think I should rub off on him somehow on how to be your woman's slave...I'm good at that, ask Chris! But I like it though...so there. Then Leah and I went back to my house-e and Jl called and invited us to go to the FUCKIN AVALON! Damn, I haven't been there for like, 5 years...dammit I love that arcade! Oh well...shucks...My mom isn't here and I'm all alone and I feel alone too. Blah. Chris went to the station so I won't see him today, Leah won't be back till probably 12 or 1, so I'm stuck....dammit. I want to see somebody. Poop. Maybe I'll just play video games, yes, I think I will, and drink lots of coffee. Bye. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Get Up Kids: Valentine (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 16th, 2032
11:29 am	phun Played SSMBM for like, 5 hours with Chris and John, laughed so hard my balls almost popped. I really want to see Leah soon. I think I'm having crave-like symptoms...guess that's what happens when you're in love. Ha. I guess Leah and I are going with Lia to Good Will today sometime. That will be fun I think. I feel really calm and dreamy-like right now. Not sure if today is gonna be rilly fun or rilly stupid. I kinda wanna see Jl and see how he's doin...I want to be in school right now so I can talk and never shut up. I think I'm gonna go talk to my wall. Hope Chris feels better soon. Hope Leah calls soon. Hope I learn as much as Lia in D-base soon. Hope I get good grades this semester. Hope My g/f feels better soon... I need some coffee. lu-va Alekseeo. "Build engine can do bullets...they did it in Shadow Warrior." "No they didn't." "Yes they fuckin DID. The uzis man." "Bullshit, build engine's not high-tech enough." "Well, how do you explain the uzis then?" "Dude, it's all sone on a grid, they just have a frame of a sprite that makes it LOOK like there's a bullet coming out and heading toward the target." "Then why is there an abundance of time from the 'bullet' being fired from the gun and the blood coming from a character? Smart ass." "Well, it's just a judge of distance that the computer makes from the gun to the sprite, and it makes the time of the 'bullet' to-hit the bad-guy accordingly." "That's bullshit, the bullet is just like the fucking rocket, it's a traveling sprite, it's just a lot SMALLER." "Phwa! For sure, they didn't do that, as a matter of fact, the fucking ROCKET doens't really travel either!" "Shut up." "Chris it's okay to admit when you're wrong...it's just a figment of your imagination." "DUDE, you are so full of shit, you're just saying this to piss me off." "You're right. Still no bullets though." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Yeah, and genius Ryan." "Fuckin' A, Ryan, what a bitch." "Dude, Alex, give him a break, he's a GENIUS." "Oh I know! He uses 11% of his brain..." "Yep." "I think he's lying." "NOOO! Alex, that's it, John, pick him up and throw his ass off a cliff. Ryan, lie, NEVER!" "I'm sorry fellas, I should just admit when geniuses are superior to me." "Yeah and don't forget his dick!" "Oh yeah! It's the size of a pop can right!?" "That's what he says!" "Well, we shouldn't think differently, I mean, why should we doubt a genuis? Genuises can't lie!" "No shit." "Well, I talked to Cody, and she says something a bit different." "What' that?" "Well, she says that it's the size of a summer sausage." "OOOH!" "Yeah, and she says that the only time she actually REMEMBERS fucking Ryan made her remember why she stopped in the first place." "Hahahaha!" "She says that the way his genius ass was goin, might as well just hump her leg, she'd get the same amount of satisfaction, maybe even more that way!" "Shit dude, a superior intellect can't please the woman...what's up with that? Don't have to be a genius to know how to use your dick!" "Well, I've come to the conclusion that Cody couldn't enjoy it because she's not smart enough, her brain just can't handle the awesome force of the genius summer sausage." "Really." "Yeah, and then I asked her what was the thing she said most during sex...guess what is was!" "What!?" "Stop breathing on me" "HAHAHA!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Current Mood: chipper Current Music: None (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 2nd, 2031
11:06 am	GAAAARG! You're Rufus, very very very yummy ^_____^ ::lickslips:: and you own a murderous company known as Shrinra Who In Final Fantasy VII are you? o_o Made By ZellyBaby I am the sexiest mofo on earth. Rufus is fucking |<-R4|). Boy I hope today goes as good as it feels. I feel good, trying to make chris feel better, am gonna see Scott and Matt today, am going to hang out with Leah, hopefully. I think I'm going to go take a bubble bath right now....lol i like bubbles. Read cosmo-mag yesterday and read this article on relatinships, it made me feel really good. I read about the cycles of relationships and shit, and it made fucking sense, like it has ALL happened. So it says once I reach two years of dating Leah, it's all gold and shit from there. The thing thats so cool about it is...I WILL be dating Leah for over two years...I feel like absolutely nothing will break us up, and I know that our ups and downs are just cycles, and we help each other THROUGH them, it;s not one-sided or anything. I just plain love that girl. I played Black and White today, that game is one of the only games that I actually think are real. Like I actually CARE about my creature...it's scary...he's so cute, he's a "Magilla Gorilla" that's what I named him, he's really nice, too. Not like me, I'm a bad god, I kill lots of people...hahah! Better hope I am NOT God for reals or else the worlds in for a heap of shit. Later peoples. -A- of -C&A- Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Get Up Kids: Close to Me. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 28th, 2031
4:55 pm	Today was the day I was born. Everything seems so clear right now. Insomnia's not supposed to be like that. I feel refreshed. I feel awake. I don't care if i dont sleep again tonight as long as ill feel this way tomorrow. I had a good day today, it all started in the morning I went to school and the first thing I saw was my girlfriend..she makes me feel good no matter what. And my mom, for once this month, was not being an ultra-mega-bitch-fuck. We actually had a good conversation. I feel like I really don't need to move to chris's house again, not that I would mind that at all but I like being home...but anyways...on with my day When Wade saw me he gave me a big-super-snazzy-fine-ass-pretty-nice-fuzzy-Wadekins-style hug. I felt so good and close to him. I never thought Wade really cared about me like that. I mean, I don't go OUT OF MY WAY to hug HIM. I mean, I DO hug him...but he made an effort to make ME feel better. And it felt really good. Wade if you're reading this, you made me feel extremely good this morning. And then he took out his keys and told me "Dude, throw them on the ground." I was like "WHY!?" He's all "Just do it, it'll make you feel better." So, I did, and it fucking felt GOOD, I felt like I just fucking ripped off my dad's face and kicked him in the fucking brain. It felt nice. Wow, I want to get my own set of keys so I can do that. THen the day was getting even better, I wasnt frustrated, I wasnt mad, I was fucking content being in goddam school. I even got along with Lia all day. She was pleasant to be around and I didnt feel so threatened...first period was even cool, Frau Micheel didn't show up for like, 30 minutes, and when she did, she just told us jokes and was being all cool and gave us slackers an extra day for our homework. She didn't HAVE to do that, but she did...it was nice. Passing time was nice except...hmm...the Alexio detected something wrong in the Force... CHRIS WAS GONE. :( I was like "Hmm. Maybe he's just late cuz of the snow." so I just talked with my Princess and waddled like a duck (A happy duck)and made references to the naked indian dance. Second period fucking sucked, so I wont talk about it, Ive vowed only to talk about the good stuff today. Then passing time again, saw my Princess again (cant get enough of her, she's like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop...No that wasnt meant to be sexual you assholes.) and then I went to class hoping to God that Chris would show up....*SIGH* No such luck. he didn't show up. So I sat with Alex Lee and another guy Mike and then I finished putting together my Powerpoint and it looks really good, I changed a couple things on it and its gonna fucking ROCK when I present...its full of violence, swearing and Alexio logic (Chaos theory??) but I told Mrs. Harris "Mrs. HArris, I am NOT presenting today. Chris isn't here, and I cannot function without the added C in the A" And she just smiled and nodded her head. So then "FUCK!!" A computer moniter was fucked. Something blew up inside of it, so Alexio to the rescue!! It was awesome I put it all together and shit and made it work and I felt goddam accomplished. Hmm, the day seems to be going well. On to 4th with Mr. A. Usually boring ESPECIALLY times 10000 when Chris isnt there to talk and bullshit with. But by God...today was INTERESTING. Maybe it's because I didn't sleep and my mind couldn't convince me that what he was telling me was pointless shit. I actually felt an appreciation for Abe Lincoln, even though I think he's overrated. He's kind of wishy-washy but hey, people love him. I have my own opinion but i won't waste your time talking about it. So anyways the class ends. I even felt GOOD about the History final. You just fucking KNOW I'm expecting some shit to come down now, it was already an especially good day... So I go to lunch to see all the people I like to see and like hearing what they have to say. And plus I just get to stare at Leah the whole time so it's ok. But lunch went GOOD. I am surprised. My sandwhich was good too. So then I walk with my Princess to class, and give her lots of kisses, and then Database development comes about. I wanted to sit next to Lia, I was feeling especially friendly with her today..so I did, and Mr. Genest starts ranting this shit about how the final will have questions from the TBTs on them. Im like "Fuck, we werent assigned to do those." "Oh noo nooo, you have been assigned them last Thursday, you will do them." Hmm, did I miss something? No big deal, Lia and I read through some shit, we both passed the test so I'm feeling pretty confident about THAT final too! But wait, the best part didn't happen yet...I'm just sittin there and I hear this familiar voice and Im like "No I'm just hearing voices in my head, no big deal." But then I turn around and you know who the fuck I'm looking at!?!??!?! IT'S ME HOOOOM---E!! CHRIS IS HERE! I punch myself in the head to make sure I'm not dreaming, and lo and behold, Chris is here. C&A together again. So that brightened up my already extremely bright mood up about 10 notches. And we leave and I go meet my princess and give her more kisses and then head off to sixth period. I get into sixth and Mrs. Barry is like all upset over the goddam PDP she's just like thinking that she'll get fired or some shit because she hasnt taught us anything worthwhile to put into the PDP. So I walked up to her and was like "Mrs. Barry, if I even BEGIN to ponder how much shit I have learned in this class from you, as a chemistry teacher, my head will collapse and my brain will cave in." So she starts laughing her ass off and gets all smiley and told me that what I said made her feel waaay better about her teaching. It's true my head HURTS when I leave chemistry cuz I learn so much shit. Fuck the PDP in chemistry willbe one of the easiest ones ill do. So then Megan, this really cool girl helps my lame-forgetting-ass with all this shit we did at the beginning of the year that I forgot, and Mrs. Barry reminds us that for the test we get a double sided page of notes, so I'm like "FUCK." I actually feel OK about that final too. I am feeling just great right about then and then before I know it it's time to go home and I get to spend the afternoon with my girlfriend...which is my favorite part of the day. And if it's not with Leah then it's with Chris, so I win no matter WHAT! BWAAHHAHAHAH! So then the day goes on, and I can tell Leah wants to go home, and we had lots of fun, so it be cool, I know I like to be home sometimes too. I felt really good with her today. Fuck, I felt good with EVERYONE today. I remember when my insomnia used to be worse and it was like this where i didn't sleep for days at a time and crashed fucking hard, but it was wierd, I was ALWAYS exhausted before. But right now I feel great. I feel like nothing could ruin my mood. I think last night/this morning was the peak of my depressed-ass-state and starting when school started I felt damn good. Ive been through this shit before, I get "High on life" and shit, and I get all buzzed and crazy but I feel great. I hope it lasts for a long time. I need a break. Wait, I got a break today...I want it more. (C&A joke: "GET IT MORE~!") <--say it like you mean it. I think im going to call chris and tell him how much i adore him and that I am sorry that I have been so down. P-fucking-S, It has NOTHING to do with all you guys. Alexio gets very fucked in the head sometimes, but just give me time...yes, a long time, and he'll be fine. I know how these good moods are. They last long-tim-e for me. Wow. I feel good. Let's sum my head up right now... I love Wade today because he set the mood right for me. I love my Leah today because she actually went out with me and gave me her love and showed me how incredibly wonderful she is. She blessed me with her existence. I didn't make Leah. I couldn't have because she doesn't have an ounce of me in her. And she impresses the hell out of me everyday. I L-O-V-E her. She is the best girl I could ever be with. I love her more as every day goes by, and I look forward and cherish everyday I spend with her. If I dind't have Leah in my life, I think my existence would be thrown out of equillibreum and maybe I'd die or something...shit that's scary to think about. Lucky she puts up with my ass. I love Chris because he is the best friend I've ever had in my life and I will not give him up for anything or anybody. Not even if you kill me. C&A are set in stone. And I will fight and kill for my friend. Plus he's damn good looking. Im not sure if I made Chris or not. But it wouldn't matter either way. Because he is Newly tasty freshly enhanced every day. He is the one MALE I have never been pissed at, and that means something. And even if he did ever piss me off it would be so fucking short-lived because I don't expect him to be perfect, and I have no standards for him so he's always making me laugh and keeping my life-force up. Chris is the single person on this Earth that can make me laugh until my ears hurt and I feel like my insides are going to burn up in acid. He's quite literally painfully funny. And only the most 1337 get his insanely amusing humor. I love Brad because he's so unique and dark, and he interests me, he prefers the things most people find odd. Plus he's extremely intelligent and has a good sense of humor. Even if he chips processors and overheats them. Plus he let me kick it with him till 1:00 in the morning last night and made me laugh about his Athlon MP 1800 with a 16 meg video card. Wow, am I the only one that feels like that's abuse? I love JL because he always puts things into perspective when it comes to my people problems. I consider him to be the most people-smart person I know. I also look up to him. He's the kinda guy you'd want to marry. He's just fucking nice as hell when it comes to the women, I guess I envy that. Because I'm so out there and I say shit before thinking about it but that makes me ME. I love Will because I think he has an extremely good heart. I love Nerkert because he knows so much shit about pooters I just want to steal his knowledge. Plus hes a nice guy and he makes good jokes at good times. All geek jokes mind you. I loved Lia today because she was fun to be around and didn't make squeeky noises. I love a hundred more people too. But I just felt like talking about all my lovelies. Wow, I've been writing for an hour, I think I'll end this post. If you actually read it to the end, you are 1337. Or just stupid for even listening to my ass. Either way thanks!! Don't forget to comment. ;) -Al-lexxx-I/O- Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: Less Than Jake: Everything's Fine (6 Comments |Comment on this)
3:06 am	Life in general Ive been so down lately...and ive just had a rude awakening. I realized how little i know I realized how younger people are fucking OLDER than me. Am I really worthwhile? Do I really know myself...I think i do. But do i spend so much fucking time trying to sort out my feelings that I forget to be ME. I think i have lately. We have finals, im stressed to SHIT about them. I feel like such a fucking failure I can barely stand myself. I dont want to end up being like David. I just want to know that people love me. I just want to know that I will have a place in the fucking world I CREATED. Why is it so hard sometimes to be happy? Why do I always feel like I'll never be able to help my friends. I love them so much, I want to help so much. My friends are my life and I just want to be that ONE person that they can fall back on. I know what pain is. I just want to help. I feel so alone right now. I love Leah I love Chris I love John-Luke... I hate humanity...I hate the way we HAVE to be. I just want to fucking CHANGE something, I want to know that someday, my existence will be WORTH something. GODDAMIT I feel so fucking pessimistic right now. I just want to bitch right now I WANT to be pittied. I want my girlfriend here to hold me and I want someone to tell me "It'll be alright." I don't want to fail. I want to be good at something. I want to be the perfect boyfriend. I want to be a programmer, or a system administrator...i want to be lots of things. But can I really get there? Do I have what it takes...will my goddam brain just give me a chance to breathe so i don't suffocate from stress and over-analyzation? Will I ever fill out? Am I ever or am I the person that people look forward to seeing every day. I have faith and believe that people love me, but sometimes I really need to hear it. I know I hear it. But I want to hear it NOW. Maybe if I wish hard enough I'll show up in Leah's room so I can kiss her while she sleeps. Or teleport to Chris's house and wake him up so I can watch him play games, or talk and laugh my ass off. My zen-state-of-mind. Or to john-lukes to listen to stories and learn from the person who i belive knows everything... THEY ARE MY ANTI-PSYCHOTICS. And I'm overdue on taking them right now...i want to be with them really bad right now. Tomorrow (or today i should say) will be such a good day. I think my 'down' phase will end with this entry. And I will be the happiest SOB on the planet today when I see them. Im running on no sleep today so I think ill be really fun and hyper...then ill crash so fucking hard i wont wake up for 2 days...that would be nice. Why do I feel so fucking schizo? God damn I want to feel alive. I REALLY DO LOVE YOU PEOPLE......... :( Alekzio :( fuck just comment and make me feel better... Current Mood: sad Current Music: Smashing Pumpkins: Tonight tonight (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 24th, 2031
5:24 pm	HAHAAAA! Sod Off!! Take the Which Tank Girl Character Are You? Quiz! This quiz was made by lia I couldn't agree more...hahahaha! I think I'm gonna go make my own test! yes...I shall. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Strung Out: Firecracker (Comment on this)
Monday, January 6th, 2031
2:18 pm	To, Too, Two: BITCH I suppose bitching is useless except for it makes people feel better, and im in a particluarly happy mood, but im gonna bitch anyways...it is depressing as much as it is amazing to look at the world we live in, this is nothing you guys have never heard before, but it just gets to me, we have all these great wonderful things, yet we are slowly destroying ourselves, how long are the earths recources going to last? Mother Nature is surely the most giving entity on the planet, and we, as humans are selfish and will never give enough back to the earth to survive, i suppose destruction is inevitable for anything in existence, yet it sucks to think about, no one knows what happens when you die, and we ALL die SOMEDAY. So life itself is just a tease, we work so hard (most of us) for the people we love, and the things we get, and yet someday its all going to go away, because we'll be dead and existence will cease to exist...we will become nothingness, maybe even a bigger part of the universe, who knows. And seeing people every day is depressing, how fake and unhappy and so full of hatred so many people are. I myself am full of anger, but also i am a relatively nice and happy person, but i am not convinced with humanity, and being a part of all these fake and unhappy people is just a big slap in the face, because I cant change anybody, and i want to so much, I love trying to influence people and all that, but they will not change for me, and are to ignorant to change for themselves, its just sad. Shit, im not saying IM perfect, fuck, anybody who knows me knows that, but still, i love the friends ive got, and am very grateful for them and love every minute i spend with them, but what the fuck is up with everybody? I suppose its just human nature to be the best, and the one most people love and lust after, but for chrissakes its all shit, because 90% of people (possibly more) are full of shit and arent as they portray themselves to be. My father being one of them, and without his influence over me I would be blind to all the shit everyone else is full of. Okay, i exagerrated, not EVERYONE is full of shit, but a lot of them are, i try to surround myself with true, worthwhile individuals, whilst the rest of humanity wastes away with false beliefs and intentions, it seems as if nobody lives to be themselves anymore, society tells you you must LOOK a certain way, ACT a certain way, theres no individualism anymore, its all gone to shit. And we're just dragging ourselves into it to be hurt and not strive for our own goals, or act on our own morals. And the guys are just kinda bad about it, the girls are the fucking PITS, if i werent dating Leah (The most true, honest girl i know, who also is a princess), holy shit, i wouldnt touch any-fucking-body in the whole school. Goddam the girls just reek of shit...its so funny. I laugh at how cool they think they are, and how much fake attention they attract, and how funny it is that they starve themselves to look "good". Im not an elitist, but they make me feel so superior to them. Im not buff, im also not a great student, i dont have the biggest dick, or the nicest haircut, or the slickest car, or the most expensive clothes, but holy shit, am i 20 times more fucking worthwhile to talk to and be friends with than all of them combined. Its people like Chris, and John-luke, and Jesse, and Travis, and fucking Eric, Will, Nick, even fucking Mike-E that make my life worthwhile and are worth spending time with. And girls like Leah that make the opposite sex attractive and worth working for. People who dont lie to me, people who treat me as an equal, people who believe in themselves and are not intimidated when people tell them how they SHOULD be. And you can see that it scares other people, the fake ones, they either wont talk to you or they suck up to you like bitches...sometimes i wonder if the popular preps are thinking how much they dont have inside, how un-full they are when it comes to being a person and if they really think about how they are inferior to the ones they cast out. and how they wish they could be like them. Ive had heart-to-heart talks with some of them because they gave me a chance, and they are telling me how good it would be if they werent such pussies and did everything they're friends told them was cool, or how they know their friends dont really give a rats ass about them, or the person they are. They admit they put on a show. But fuck, who DOESNT try to impress people, im not saying that all preps are evil, but i am stereotyping and saying that I truly believe that the ones who arent so "fortunate" as people say have a lot more personality and worth than the average rich fuck. Damn, I had lots of money once too, but i never fucking bought a $50 shirt to prove my worth, if people judge you by possesions then they arent worth a pigs cock. I cant tell my friends how much i love them for being so good, and so true. I hate fakeness, I hate looking at the world through a fucking mask, and I hate assholes, which tends to be most of the people I look at around me each day. So ignorant, they are. I guess I am a very opinionated person, but i think with my heart and my mind, and I do not judge by what I think, I judge by what I KNOW, I will never judge you by a first impression, but I will always judge you by what you say and how you treat others. But once I have my heart set on who YOU are, I seldom change it, whether you spend the rest of your time doing stupid shit that doesnt make sense, Ill love you just the same. I dont have very many people problems, and i know not EVERYONE thinks im a great guy, and I DONT expect it, but fuck...we need some more good, honest motherfuckers. Maybe Im just harsh because of my family and my past, maybe IM not taking advantage of being fake and being buff and having "Hot" bitches hang all over me, maybe IVE got it ALL wrong...but i dont think so. Thanks for letting me bitch, please respond to this and tell me what YOU think. Shit, maybe you shouldnt even listen to what I say because Im not mentally stable, LOL. I love you fuckers. King Alvarez. Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: Strung Out: Matchbook (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 4th, 2031
3:07 pm	my new years resolution Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz I will seduce Leah lots instead!! Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: getupkids: fallsemester (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 2nd, 2031
9:16 pm	me as a pokemon What Kind Of Pokemon Are You? sounds good to me. :) Current Mood: awake Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:16 pm	me as a pokemon What Kind Of Pokemon Are You? sounds good to me. :) Current Mood: awake Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 1st, 2031
10:31 pm	me My anthem is "I Choose", by The Offspring. I live life like there were no tomorrow, but I know when to keep my nose out of serious trouble. I may seem pretty childish to some people, and I won't deny that I am. But that's why everyone loves me. Find out what YOUR anthem is HERE! guess this suits me pretty well. Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: getupkids fallsemester (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 16th, 2030
12:59 pm	C-H-R-I-S How can u say everythings fine? Growing up has been one of the hardest things in my life, yet it's also been the best part of my life. Course when all you do is live and breathe there's not much else to work on or ponder, except maybe the existence of God, and of course Death. Last week, a kid I knew commited suicide, and it's so strange because I knew him and talked to him, he was a NICE kid, well liked, had friends, had the women, not much I could see that he was upset about, though I know that it's incredibly easy to hold things inside and explode later, I used to be an expert at that. But usually, I have the gift of reading people fairly well I can see their strengths, weaknesses and analyze their personality and most of the time I see shit. Then there's the good people, few and far between unfortunately. Not because they like me or dont like me, but becasue I know if they have a good heart or 'soul' whatever you want to call it. So I guess I didnt see anything wrong with him, but what the fuck do I know REALLY. Don't know why he did it, seems like commiting suicide is becoming a fad nowadays, like you'll become great if you kill yourself, what a crock of shit. But when I found that he was dead I had no answer and I almost felt like if I'd have spent more time with him or something I would have seen it coming and maybe could have SOMEHOW been a hero and changed it. But I can't do shit now. I guess what all of that made me realize (even more so) is that I really appreciate my friends and seeing them living and breathing everyday. Listening to what they have to say and whatnot and just plain trying to help them out when they need it. I know that I need MY friends for that, and it's good when I can really talk to them. I'm so fucking closed up though, I really dont like to share my past with much of anybody, Chris, Leah, and Lia are the only people that know anything, but I need them for that. I guess I want to be there for them too. And I guess that's kind of the dillemma. Seems my favorite friend in the universe is having a down time too. Yes, it's blatantly obvious that Chris is not happy. And when Chris is not happy, the C&A become unstable (like Windows) and bad things can happen, even Armageddon. It's hard for me to think how easy it is to slip into a sad state, even though a good portion of my life has been spent there. But my friends always picked me up. I want to pick Chris up , we're going to John's house tonight to play games and shit so hopefully Chris will have a blast with me and it'll be all cool. I just want Chris to know how much he means to ME and what he's done for ME and I want to do the same. I feel sorta powerless right now because I pride myself into thinking that I can fix anyone's problems, and I can't. I can give really good advice, but it's left up to the person to fix the problem. I know this post is a ramble but the point is I don't really know EXACTLY how I feel, I just know that I want Chris to be happy. Happy with me, happy with life. I used to have no friends. I used to be an asshole (some probably think I still am) but I have always been painfully honest and pretty off the wall. I swear a lot, I'm crude, I appreciate tiolet humor and am generally a pretty cynical bastard. Don't know how I manage to get any girlfriends, one as good as Leah, let alone any friends. But I do. I honestly genuinely care about people, want to help but you gotta put up with my ass for me to help. I guess I hate bullshit too. But so much shit has happened recently. I passed all my classes, I even got a 2.5 GPA. I am proud of that. But Chris wants to be an EMT. And to be quite honest, that pains me. More than anything I want Chris to persue his dreams and be what he wants because I know he has what it takes to become anything he wants. As long as he has a passion for it he can do it well. I mean, Chris and I are both extremely lazy, but we're REALLY good at what we're good at. I guess I am scared not only that Chris's career might lead him away from my bitch-ass (which it could) but also I envy that he can become one in the first place. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere in my business life that I don't want to be. I worry that college will be like school and I'll do poorly, or just mediocre-ly. I want to have a good job, my dream is opening a pooter business with Chris, and I really want us to do that, but more than likely we'll both have our seperate jobs but we'll be happy with that. I just don't ever want to think about Chris and I being apart. I love Chris, plain and simple, more than any friend I've got or have ever known. Chris and I are bonded on a level I have never experienced before. When I first saw Chris, I just had this feeling that he was gonna be a really cool guy, and I'm glad I gave it a chance because just after spending some time with him I really liked him a lot. His interests were a bit different than mine, and we are both extremely different but he really intrigued me. Aaron was cool too, but it was plainly obvious that he treated Chris as an underling, just kind of a way of making Chris look bad and at the same time putting HIMself in the spotlight. I LIKE Aaron, but I dig Chris a bazillion times more. After all three of us hung out a lot I started warming up to Chris a lot more. I can't remember too well what we did together (thanks brain!) but I do know that he was the funnest and most real motherfucker I ever met. So I decided Chris was gonna be a star, and a star he is today. Chris is well-known and well liked and it's good for him to be like that because he deserves it. And I love him more than any friend because I mean-fuck, who else can you watch porn with and then later spout off word-for-word the lines from it in school and laugh your asses off together while everyone around you is likely thinking we're a bunch of fucking morons? I mean, who else can you re-write an ending to a story with, throw in a 'Mickey' and some sex and have the teacher laugh her ass off continuously with? Who else can you make a presentation with about a really ugly actress and have him be a genius and put a picture of a dog in with the photos that classify Clara Bow? Or talk mad comp-u-ter shit with and make fun of the un-1337? Who else can make you laugh so hard your ears burn and your stomache feels like it's going to rupture any second, or cry uncontrollably about the 'Al-Broker' balloon? Who else can you feel undeniably comfortable with no matter what they say. Who else can you talk to about anything? Who else can you ask for the most personal advice and value it the most? Who else can you laugh with about door-slamming anal porn or japscat? Who else can you tell that FACTUALLY the Build engine can't make bullets? Who's shoulder can you cry on? Who else can you joke with about them being gay (Not really)? Who else can you make fun of 'Big-sticks' with? Who else makes you feel like a million dollars (Leah too.) Who else can you hop around doing the DDR walk in school? Who else can you act like a COMPLETE fucking idiot with(loudly) and not give a damn? Who else can make you incredibly unhappy if you dont see them in a week? What other friend will love you even though your fucking crazy? Who the fuck else you you hawl a goddam half block when their dead weight cuz they had a fucking seizure, or sing to on a staircase at a concert and their bitch-ass made you miss half of pulley's concert? Who else will you let draw a cock on you arm? Who else would you DRAW a cock on? Who else can you ride in a humongous indestructable truck with and blare music out with? Who else can you make fun of 'geniusses' that have pop-can dicks with? Who else can you laugh with about their mothers' backing up "My Quicken"? Who else can you tell stories with all night? Who else can you stand to watch them play 'Theif' with? Who else do you love more than any other friend on Earth?? Ill tell you who: The "C" the sexy-ass-smart-ass-funny-ass Christopher Michael Pfingsten. My greatest friend who I hope i'll know and hang out with for the rest of my bitch-ass life. He is my best friend and I love him to Death. We've been friends for a few years now and it just keeps getting better, but if you can, tell him "what's up" and make his bitch ass feel better, fuck him or SOMETHING because I want him out of his funk. He'd do it for you. I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up yeah I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up I'm growin up Let's GO!!!!!!!! To the greatest friend there is. "WE LOVE YOU" and if I can do anything to help, tell me... I'll always be here for you, you know that. Get it more, your skill is great. ...victoly... "For more than a half century, coffee houses only served whites." "Isn't that fucked up, I mean, coffees' BLACK!" "Hahaha, Shut up Alex." "No seriously." "Just like how we never landed on the moon right Alex?" "FUCK YOU! We didn't!" "Watched the 'Fox' special, right? I mean, Fox network can't lie! Never!" "No dude, I mean, the flag can't WAVE! There's no gravity!" "Alex, there's gravity on the moon dumb-ass." "Shut up, there is not, and there's no wind either!" "The flag never waved!" "It's a conspiracy I swear." "Just like how you'll notice every successful assassination, the person who performed it, there's always three parts to their name, 'Lee harvey Oswald' "John whatever Hinkley' you know? It's a government conspiracy." "Yeah, true." "Dude, I've got a great idea for a porn, instead of the wizard of Oz, it's "The Wizard of Cock!" isn't that badass!?" "Yeah so Dorothy can lube the Tin-man up with her pussy juice?" "Yeah, and she can have a fuckin three-way before she leaves OZ." "Who gets what?" "We'll let the tin-man get her pussy, cuz he needs lubs, the scarecrow can have her mouth cuz he's all straw-like, and since the Lion has no courage, we'll give him some so he can fuck her in the ass." "Yeah and she can like, fuck the Wizard to leave Oz. I mean, is a doctrite in sexology probably." "Yeah man, and what about the witches?" "Well, the task of getting out of Oz, is instead of the witch of the West riding a broomstick, it can be a giant dildo." "Hell yeah dude. And she can splash cum on her face to melt her." "Hahaha!" "Hahah!" "Wizard of Cock." See, who else can you talk to about shit like that? I love you! Bring on the Dancing Chris's! Comment and tell Chris that you love him...or DIE. I can see everything. Current Mood: Want my g/f and Chris Current Music: Get Up Kids: I'll Catch You (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
4:04 pm	Words o Death Cab "So This is The New Year" After working for Radioshack for a year, i have had no choice but to love the retail industry more than ever, namely for the dynamic experiences that present themselves day after day, on the flip side i have gotten to better myself from a management standpoint, but more than anything, i have gotten to look at the godforsaken way that the majority of sprawling corporate entities and their desperate measures to save face and money while omitting responsibility, To say the least; its been a wonderful learning experience, and now im moving my ass over to Willamette Dental Jefferson st. location near PSU, and i couldnt be happier, now i can actually get paid for going back to school. On the flip, Chris's wedding was awesome, my g/f is awesome, my cat is awesome, and for all its worth, life is basically...awesome. Im using nicorette so i can quit fuckin smokin. I think it'll work. Phoenix Wright: Ace attourney rules. Pokemon sucks. And as much as i hate to admit it; FFXII is great....fuck'n A. Love out y'all. Someday i hope to fuck we'll all get together again and raise the same types of hell we did five years ago. Getting older gets more surreal. Im not sure how i feel about that. -Alexio Current Mood: content Current Music: Minus the Bear: Hey! Is that a ninja up there? (3 Comments |Comment on this)